Tuesday, February 16, 2016

Making Tortillas

I'm Mexican! I Love Making Corn Tortillas! This is How You Make Them.

 

Not my tortillas. I forgot to take a picture of mine...

This is actually stupid simple and there are probably hundreds of other places on the internet that can tell you how this goes but I’m going to do it anyway because why the hell not!

The Tortilla Press

 


You need a tortilla press!

And please don’t be like the average gringo who goes for the super expensive one because it promises tortilla dough won’t stick. That’s bullshit! It will always stick!

Get the cheaper but still well made kind and simply take a ziplock bag and separate it into two pieces, like so:


With plastic the dough really won’t stick! Unless you’ve made it too mushy or too thin, but then that’s your fault. You moron! And you just need to rinse them with water to clean them off. No waste in this space!

MASECA



Next! You need MASECA or some other corn flour alternative. This won’t exactly work with all purpose flour, those tortillas require different steps and are more complicated to make. But that’s okay! Cause those are more fatty anyway! (my Mom makes awesome flour tortillas).

So you have the flour. Pour as much as you think you’ll need. Official recipes say 2 cups but that makes like 12 tortillas, I don’t need so many and I don’t want to freeze leftovers! I want them FRESH!


Add some salt! A pinch is fine.


Now slowly add COLD water. It really should be cold, not freezing, but cold.

 If it looks like this:




You need more water.


If it looks like this:





You’ve used too much water! Add some flour!



If it looks like this:



 It’s perfect.


Now other recipes might suggest to let it sit for about 20 minutes. Well that’s for chumps! And you an honorary Mexican will not tolerate such nonsense. We will charge on.

Put a pan or a large skillet on medium heat. Wait till it’s hot. I guess you could of done this while mixing the dough but it’s too late now so suck it up! Unless you’re reading this first and then making it…

Okay so while it heats make some BALLS!


A bit smaller than these would be better.

Then take a ball and put it in the tortilla press aaaaaand SMUSH.

Now here the average gringo will complain that the resulting tortilla is smaller than expected. Hah! Amateurs. You need to SMUSH it Again!
Before you do rotate the tortilla a quarter turn.

I SMUSH about three times. That will give you a good sized tortilla. Slightly smaller than the press itself.

Now take that raw tortilla goodness and put it on the pan.

Leave it there while you SMUSH a second ball. By the time that SMUSHING process is finished it should be enough time to flip the tortilla.

I use a spatula. Hardcore Mexican mamas use their hands, but I’m a klutz and would burn myself.

After a bit, give it another flip and smush it a little with your spatula. Hopefully it will start to rise, flip again, watch it rise again.

It’s done!

Repeat for as many balls as you have.

If it doesn’t rise, well that sucks but it will probably turn out okay anyway. But keep practicing the rising is what you want to see to know it will be a kickass tortilla.

Enjoy!

High fives for the successful, disappointed head shakes to the failures. (Not really. Just practice!)

This has been a recipe by LittleCely

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