Tuesday, January 26, 2016

Confessions of a Tinderella - My Personal Tinder Experience

How I Met My Husband



I met Bruce when I was living in Doha, Qatar. He was working at a Canadian college while I was working at an American elementary school. We had no friends in common, we were both a bit on the introverted side and our hobbies didn’t really match (sports vs video games and cartoons). If it hadn’t been for Tinder, we never would have met.

Even with Tinder the chance of us meeting was unlikely. While there aren’t all that many people using the app in the Middle East as there would be in other places in the world, the parameters that I first started out with didn't even make Bruce eligible as a potential match.

At the time I was 27 years old, I hadn’t dated for longer than I care to admit and I decided it was way past time to get back out there. But I knew of the “dangers” or really, the annoyances that such an app could bring. I decided to go into it with an open mind. I accepted the fact that I would have bad dates, that I would have to deal with the occasional jerk, and I decided to be open about meeting someone simply to hook up. Why not?

I’d made my profile, chosen my pictures and description. This is the part where I would tell you what was included in my description but I really don’t remember, it was probably something along the lines of: Small Mexican living in Doha and working at an Elementary School, I like to read and blah blah blah (the blahs are parts I don’t remember and aren’t really interesting at this point).


My Tinder Prospects


I’d entered the options that I was interested in meeting both males and females (remember, I’m pansexual) with an age range from 26 to 37. I thought 10 years older than me was about right.

Then the swiping began (on Tinder you swipe right on pictures of people that you like and left for those you aren’t interested in). Because of the country where I was living, I only came across like 10 women in total during my Tinder experience. I swiped right for 4 of them, none of which were interested in starting up a conversation in the chats. As for guys, I matched with quite a few, some of which I talked to for a while and a few of whom I never heard from.

I think the fact that I lived with my parents and sister was a huge filter. For those that wanted to meet, if they wanted to pick me up I told them they had to meet my parents. They weren’t into that. Some stopped chatting with me out of nowhere and the two guys that got my number I never heard from again. One of them I swear must have given my number to a friend of his that started sending me messages on Whatsapp. He said we met on Tinder but we hadn’t.

Several times I came across the screen that announced: “There are no more people near you”. I had only been on Tinder for a few weeks at this point but I was starting to get slightly discouraged.

I decided I needed to widen the scope of who I was willing to be matched with. The best way to do this was to widen the age range. I now was looking for someone from the age of 25 to an even 40.

My First and Only Tinder Date


Bruce was 40. That being said, I never swiped right for a forty year-old that looked 40 and I didn’t want to deal with the 25, 26 year-old partiers.  I swiped right for Bruce because he looked youthful and fun without seeming pretentious. As soon as I’d swiped I got the message, “It's a Match!”

Not too long after, Bruce reached out to me through the chat, gave me his number and invited me out to hang out wherever he was with his friends. I said I’d rather rain check, I was in pyjamas with Monty(my dog) and was nowhere near social enough to show up to hang out with a bunch of people I didn’t even know.

He said it was fine, that we could do something another time. I half expected not to hear from him again. But the next day, November 15th 2014 he got in touch again and we made a date: a traditional dinner and a movie at the cultural centre Katara in Doha, a nicer setting than the mall to be sure.

I told him that picking up a Mexican for a date he would have to meet my Mom. He was completely cool with it, so much so that I was impressed.

We were late to the movie because we got lost on the way so we just had dinner instead. We talked at the restaurant for almost 2 hours. I really had to pee by the first hour but resisted the urge to do so until we were ready to leave.

We spent another hour talking outside sitting with a view of the ocean. It wasn’t love at first sight with me, but he was nice and interesting, although I did take note that he did a bit of complaining about stuff (he still does). I also thought it was cute that he would shift to sit closer to me as we talked, so when he asked if I would like to go on a second date, I said yes.

A month later I’d fallen head over heels. Three months later I was brave enough to tell him so to his face and I’ve said it countless times a day since then. 12 months minus 2 days later, I married him.


Conclusions


I don’t think online dating is perfect. Far from it. There are variables, asshats, different motivations and intentions. Each Tinder experience is unique. That being said, it is also the cause of more relationships and marriages than ever before. Without it I wouldn’t be with Bruce and being introverted I’m not sure how much longer it would have taken me to find somebody else.

Whatever the case in the infinite parallel Universes where other Celinas exist. I hope they find happiness and acceptance of themselves and their loved ones whether they end up with the other Bruces or not.

As for me, right here and right now, in this Universe, I wouldn’t have it any other way.

I can’t hate on Tinder and I don’t really appreciate it when others turn their nose up at any online dating app. Traditional dating is not on a higher level. They both can suck and they both can lead to awesome results or terrible ones. It’s the luck of the draw and your ability of not putting up with bullshit.

So should you try online dating? Sure why not? Nowadays it's the same as asking if you should date at all. It might work it might not, but you can't know if you don't try.

Sending out only the good vibes,

LittleCely



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